


Not a Remake

by Finduilas



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-24
Updated: 2011-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 15:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finduilas/pseuds/Finduilas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve discovers something very interesting on the internet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Remake

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by m_l_h, who is wonderful and amazing.

When Steve wanders into Danny’s office he’s just in time to see him with his cell phone tucked between his ear and shoulder, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he says into the phone, “Goddammit Squeaky, please tell me this is your messed up idea of a joke ‘cause I’m not laughing here.”   
  
He lifts his head to look at Steve, who mouths “ _Squeaky_ ?”  
  
“My sister,” Danny mouths back, then says louder into the phone, “Well then you tell her to take it down! ... I do not find this amusing. ... Fuck. Fine, fine, all I’m saying is, she was your best friend, the least you can do is  _ask_ her to take it down. ... Yes. Fine. No, I’m  _not_  happy about this. … Look, I gotta go, okay? Bye.”  
  
Danny sighs as he punches the ‘off’ button of his phone just a little too roughly and throws it down on his desk.   
  
“Squeaky?” Steve asks again, mildly amused at the weird nickname.   
  
“Yeah, she... She had a squeaky voice when she was little,” Danny explains, leaning back in his chair, “The name kind of stuck.”   
  
“Family of nicknames,” Steve observes as he sits down in the chair in front of the desk, “What’s wrong?”   
  
Danny sighs again, just for effect, and says, “My dear sister just informed me that her best friend from high school apparently has this blog thing online and she isn’t shy about sharing.”  
  
Steve leans forward, elbows on his thighs, not quite seeing the problem yet.   
  
“And of course I used to go out with this girl,” Danny continues, “So now there’s stuff about our relationship and our sex-life online, posted for the whole world to see.”  
  
“Ouch,” Steve says sympathetically.   
  
“Yeah. Have I mentioned how much I hate the internet?” Danny asks.   
  
“I don’t know, it has its good qualities,” Steve smiles slyly.   
  
“I don’t even wanna know the things you look up on the internet,” Danny sighs as he gets up and starts pacing the room, “This is pissing me off though. According to my sister the thing is a regular ‘how to’ on the seduction and pleasing of Daniel Williams.”   
  
Danny’s face contorts into a grim scowl as Steve can’t help but snort.   
  
“Sorry, sorry,” Steve lifts his hands as a sign of apology, “But it can’t be that bad. Besides, nobody ever believes what exes have to say anyway.”  
  
“I haven’t plucked up the courage to look yet,” Danny admits, “But apparently, again according to my sister, she’s not even trying to take me down or anything. Just... reminiscing really loudly and publicly.”   
  
“Must be a Jersey thing,” Steve jokes and gets rewarded by a flying pen to the head.   
  
***  
  
It takes Steve about five minutes of being alone in his office before he can’t resist the urge to go online and type in Danny’s name. It only takes him two more minutes to find the blog in question. Danny really wasn’t kidding when he said it was there for all the world to see.   
  
Steve loses track of time as he scrolls through the entries, reading paragraph after paragraph of how Danny and this girl got together, what he’s like in bed, his crazy quirks and endearing attributes. It isn’t until Danny walks into the office – not bothering with the knocking, ‘cause really… why start now? – that Steve realizes that he’s spent the better part of the afternoon reading this thing. As he shifts a little in his chair, he also comes to the realisation that he’s painfully hard.   
  
“So I checked out this blog,” Danny says, sighing exasperated, “And it’s horrible.”   
  
“Is it?” Steve says before clearing his throat a little ‘cause he’s not liking the way he sounds.   
  
With a few clicks, he quickly makes the blog disappear from his screen before Danny can see it.   
  
“I swear I don’t know why I ever dated this woman,” Danny shakes his head, “If I’d known she’d be such a blabbermouth…”  
  
 _‘You wouldn’t have had her go down on you behind a bush in Central Park?’_  Steve wants to ask but just frowns sympathetically instead.   
  
***  
  
The next day when Danny goes to pick up Steve for work – half an hour earlier, at Steve’s request – Steve is cooking away in the kitchen.   
  
“What’s gotten into you?” Danny asks as he sees Steve slide perfectly round pancakes on a plate.   
  
“Pancakes,” Steve beams, as if that explains everything.   
  
He makes a ‘sit down’ motion before grabbing the maple syrup from a cupboard and putting it on the table. He goes back to the hotplate and continues stirring a pot on the fire, and Danny peeks across Steve’s shoulder to see what it is.   
  
“You’re making hot chocolate sauce?” he asks incredulous.   
  
“Yeah, but there’s maple syrup as well if you prefer,” Steve says, pouring the hot chocolate into a mug and turning off the hotplate.   
  
“Sit down, sit down,” he urges Danny as he takes various plates and cups on the table.   
  
Steve stacks a few pancakes on Danny’s plate, pushes a bowl of strawberries closer, before pouring him a cup of coffee. His smile is big and goofy, and all the while, Danny just watches Steve move with a wondering look on his face, contemplating the likelihood of having just walked into an alternate universe.   
  
“Are you feeling alright?” Danny asks finally, but he can’t resist dipping his pinkie in the hot chocolate sauce and licking it off with an obscene amount of tongue.   
  
If at all possible, Steve’s smile widens at the sight, and he answers, “I just thought I’d make us a nice breakfast. Start the day on a positive note. You like pancakes, no?”   
  
“Even more than Malasadas!” Danny grins and eagerly tucks in, drowning his pancakes in a mix of hot chocolate sauce, maple syrup, and fresh strawberries.   
  
“Sometimes,” Danny says, chocolate covering his lips in a thick layer, “you have brilliant ideas.”   
  
Steve smiles and nibbles on a strawberry, resisting the urge to wipe – or lick – the chocolate off of Danny’s lips.   
  
***  
  
It’s when Steve ‘accidentally’ brushes up against the small of Danny’s back for the third time in one afternoon that Steve can feel a slight tremor underneath his touch. He can’t hide the smile that slowly spreads across his face.   
  
Danny gives him a questioning look, but Steve can clearly see something else in Danny’s eyes too. Something he hasn’t seen before. He can’t quite give it a name yet, but he’s sure he would like to see it more often.   
  
The fourth time, Steve and Danny are on their way back to the car, coming back from questioning a witness. When Steve walks past Danny to get to the drivers’ side of the car, he lets his hand sweep over the small over Danny’s back. It’s the ghost of a touch, but he can feel Danny’s muscles contract underneath his fingertips and Danny calls out “Okay, what the hell is it with you and the touching today?”  
  
“I’m sorry?” Steve asks, all innocent-like, as if he doesn’t know he’s slowly trying to win Danny over.   
  
“You! With the octopus-arms today?” Danny says, “I can’t take a step without you pressing your hand up against me as if I need a guide-for-the-blind or something?”   
  
“What’s the matter, Danno?” Steve doesn’t even try to keep the smile of his face, “You’re being sensitive again?”   
  
“Yes,” Danny calls out as he steps over to the passenger-side of the car, “I happen to be very sensitive so if you could kindly cut it out…?”   
  
“Sure thing,” Steve answers as he gets into the car, sounding so innocent that Danny almost misses the sweep of Steve’s eyes, giving him the once-over.   
  
***  
  
“Star Wars? Really?” Danny asks amused as he plops down on Steve’s couch, beer bottle in hand.   
  
“Yeah. What? You don’t like it?” Steve asks, making himself comfortable next to Danny, a big bowl of popcorn in between them.   
  
“I do, I do,” Danny smiles, “I just didn’t think this was your kind of movie.”   
  
“I can be a geek,” Steve flashes a broad smile at Danny, before popping a few bits of popcorn into his mouth.   
  
“What, now you have to be a geek to like Star Wars?” Danny asks incredulous, his finger already poking Steve in the chest, “I’ll tell you something, Steven. It’s not because I like Star Wars that I am a geek, alright? These are good movies, and the fact that…”   
  
“You’re just assuming I mean ‘geek’ in a bad way!” Steve interrupts.   
  
“You didn’t?”   
  
“Maybe I like geeks?” Steve answers with a sly grin, turning his attention back to the screen.   
  
He enjoys the slight huff it provokes from Danny as he settles himself more comfortably. A few minutes of silence pass when Danny can’t contain a giggle any longer.   
  
“What’s with you?” Steve asks, though he can sort of guess and he doesn’t even bother to convince himself this isn’t exactly the reason he decided on this movie tonight.   
  
“Nothing,” Danny smirks, “Just… memories.”   
  
“Memories?” Steve parrots, as he tries to keep a straight face.   
  
“Yeah,” Danny smiles, glancing over at Steve, “I uhm… I kind of lost my virginity watching this movie.”   
  
“You did?” Steve asks and all focus on the movie is gone as he turns his attention completely on Danny.   
  
Danny can neither contain his smile nor his blush as he starts, “If I’d known, I would’ve put on some romantic music or something. Put out some candles. But I’m watching this movie in my bedroom and my girlfriend’s there and so far there’d just been… dry-humping and stuff.”   
  
Steve laughs and he can’t help but picture a younger Danny trying to dry-hump his girlfriend. And really, it shouldn’t be getting him this hot and bothered.   
  
“And I was trying to be a gentleman!” Danny protests, “I mean, this was my sister’s friend even, and she’d been all ‘You don’t go too fast with a girl, Danny. You take it slow, Danny’ and I was trying to be a good guy!”  
  
“How noble of you,” Steve says, and Danny gives him a “Right?” as he grabs some more popcorn and stuffs it in his mouth.   
  
“So how did you get from dry-humping to losing your virginity during Star Wars?” Steve asks, even though he’s not sure he’s going to be able to hide the hard-on he’ll no doubt be sporting once Danny actually starts going into detail.   
  
“Midway through the movie she just gets up, sits on top of me, and starts sticking her tongue down my throat in a way she’s never done before!”   
  
Danny’s committed to the story now, hands flying everywhere, popcorn-bowl nearly tipping over on the couch, and Steve’s mesmerised by the sounds and the movements coming from this gorgeous man sitting at the other end of the couch.   
  
“And without even saying a word she’s got her top off and she’s not even wearing a bra!” Danny continues, “And she just grabs my hand and places it on her breast, and I’m thinking ‘how did we get from Jedi to this?’…”  
  
Steve just swallows hard, nodding for Danny to go on.   
  
“She opens my pants and slides her hand in and stops for a second with her hand on my dick as she asks me if I’m  _‘with the program’_ …” Danny shakes his head and laughs before going on, “So it’s like she flipped a switch or something and next thing I know I’m eagerly fishing a condom out of my nightstand and even though she said she’d never done this before, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t her first time, ‘cause she just straddled me and took control all the way, man.”   
  
“Nice,” Steve says and hopes his voice doesn’t really sound this breathless. Somewhere along the way one of them seems to have scooted closer on the couch, and Steve wonders how on earth Danny doesn’t see the huge tent in Steve’s pants. But Danny just laughs again and lets his head fall back on the couch.   
  
“And I can’t believe I just told you this,” he says as he grabs the bowl and places it on his lap, inadvertently brushing his hand against Steve’s thigh while doing so.   
  
Steve fights not to jerk up at the touch, but fails miserably. Danny doesn’t give any indication that he noticed though, and just glances over at Steve as he asks, “What about you?”   
  
Steve swallows hard and asks, “Did I ever have sex during Star Wars?”   
  
Danny lets out a huffed laugh and Steve wonders how he can look so utterly relaxed when Steve is a bundle of nerves trying to get his arousal under control.   
  
“Not exactly what I meant, you goof,” Danny answers, letting his hand fall lax on the couch next to Steve’s leg.   
  
“Just, you know… high school,” Steve says, shifting his leg unconsciously so it brushes up against Danny’s hand.   
  
“Cheerleader, no doubt?” Danny says, making no indication of moving his hand.   
  
“Yeah,” Steve shrugs, “All nervous and shit. It was kinda… unsatisfactory.”  
  
Danny snorts at Steve’s choice of word, but adds, “I bet you made up for it since.”   
  
“Oh yeah,” Steve finally finds his smirk again, “I’m unbeatable now.”   
  
Danny just nods, smiling, and turns his attention back to the screen.   
  
***  
  
“Did I tell you, Rachel’s been reading that blog?” Danny tells Steve when he arrives at the office.  
  
“The ex-girlfriend’s one?” Steve asks.   
  
“Yeah, ‘cause my life is just brilliant, which means my sister and my ex-wife are still on speaking-terms. Which means she told her about my ex-girlfriend’s blog,” Danny twists his face into a sneer, “See? Brilliant, my life!”  
  
“She babbles a lot,” Steve smiles.  
  
“Who? My sister?” Danny asks.   
  
“Yeah,  _Squeaky_ ,” Steve emphasises with a laugh.   
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny smiles ‘cause he can’t seem to get himself all worked up about it anymore.   
  
“Squeaky and Danno,” Steve shakes his head laughing.   
  
“She doesn’t call me Danno!” Danny says, “That name is reserved for my daughter.”   
  
“And me?” Steve asks hopeful, and Danny just shoots him an annoyed look but mutters something that sounds an awful lot like ‘yeah, and you.’  
  
“So what does she call you?” Steve wonders, and by the look on Danny’s face he can tell he’s going to like it.   
  
“Don’t even!” Danny says, pointing his fingers at Steve in a warning.   
  
“Come on, Danno!” Steve smiles, and really, how can Danny resist that look?   
  
“Shortie,” Danny mutters, “She calls me ‘shortie’, alright?”  
  
Steve opens his mouth but Danny cuts him off quickly, “And don’t even think about it!”  
  
Steve holds his hands up in defence.   
  
“Don’t you dare call me that!” Danny says, and his finger is poking Steve in the chest now, “You get ‘Danno’, and that’s it. I refuse to be called ‘shortie’ by you.”  
  
Steve reflects on this for a second, and says, “I’d let you call  _me_  ‘shortie’.”  
  
“You’re freaking hilarious, McGarrett,” Danny deadpans, then mutters “Me calling you ‘shortie’. I’d have to get on my fucking toes to even k…” But he cuts himself off abruptly, a flush spreading over his face before he composes himself and says, “Just don’t, alright?”  
  
Steve nods, deciding not to press the matter as he reaches out a brown paper bag and asks, “Malasada?”  
  
“You brought me Malasadas?” Danny asks, eyeing the bag for a second before reaching out and grabbing it.   
  
“Yeah,” Steve smiles, content to see that pleased look on Danny’s face as he takes his first bite.   
  
“You seem to be bringing me baked goodness a lot lately,” Danny says with a mouthful of pastry, “What’s up with that?”   
  
Steve beams a smile and says, “Can’t a guy bring another guy breakfast?” before turning towards his office and adding underneath his breath, “Shortie…”   
  
Danny grumbles but just takes a second Malasada out of the bag instead.   
  
***  
  
The hand on the small of Danny’s back lingers for a distinct period of time before Danny squirms away from the touch and says, “You’re doing it again!”  
  
“What?” Steve asks, turning his attention to the steaks on the barbecue.   
  
“That!” Danny says as he presses his hand firmly on Steve’s back for a fraction of a second, “You keep doing that.”   
  
“Jesus Danny, it’s just a friendly touch,” Steve says, turning one of the steaks on its other side.   
  
“No, no, it’s not,” Danny says, and Steve can tell he’s gearing up for a rant, “It’s not ‘cause I mentioned this before and you may think you’re all Ninja stealth-like, but let me tell you something, Steve, you’re not! ‘cause I happen to be a very perceptive person and this is not just an accidental touch. You’re doing this on purpose and I’ll have you know that I wasn’t kidding when I said I had a sensitive spot at the small of my back and…”   
  
“How am I supposed to know that?” Steve asks and he regrets the words the second they leave his mouth ‘cause Danny’s jaw drops and he goes, “Oh my God, the blog! You read the blog!”  
  
Steve can feel his face get warm as Danny goes on, “I take it all back, I’m not a perceptive person at all! You knew all along! You read the blog, didn’t you, Steve?”   
  
“I,” Steve stammers, “I may have glanced at it.”   
  
Steve looks over at Danny with a flushed face and he can see all the pieces fall together in Danny’s head.   
  
“You were wooing me!” Danny calls out in a panicked cry, “That’s what this has been about, isn’t it? The food, the touches,… Oh my God, Star Wars! What did you think I was going to do, Steven? That I was going to re-enact the scene by straddling you? I can’t believe you!”  
  
“I never…” Steve stutters, and he can’t help but think that Danny yelling at him wasn’t part of the plan.   
  
“You’re insane, alright?” Danny says as he deflates a bit, “Certifiably insane.”  
  
“Look,” Steve says, finding himself oddly small at this point, “Can’t we just forget about this?”   
  
“No, Steven, no,” Danny says firmly, hands pointed towards Steve with his indexes and his thumbs forming a perfect circle, “I am going to go home now.”   
  
Steve can feel his heart sink into his shoes, but then Danny goes on, “And you are going to read that blog again, very carefully. And then you’re going to figure out where you’re going to take me on a date tomorrow that has nothing to do with anything you read on that blog, do you understand me?”   
  
The only thing Steve can manage is a weak nod.   
  
“Good,” Danny says, “Because if you’re going to woo me it isn’t going to be a remake of a high school relationship with some stupid girl that can’t keep her mouth shut, alright? It’s going to be all new and shiny and most of all, it’s going to be  _us_ , you get me? Not me and her, but me and you. Got it?”   
  
“Got it,” Steve says, his face turning into a normal color and his breath evening out again.   
  
“I swear to God, you’re such an idiot,” Danny shakes his head as he walks towards the house. He calls back over his shoulder, “Pick me up at seven. And McGarrett?”  
  
Danny’s not surprised to see a trademark goofy smile on Steve’s face, “Don’t worry, if you don’t do any of that re-enactment stuff, you’re bound to get lucky.”


End file.
